Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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