No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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