Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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