her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
