I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hippo gnu deer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
