apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The chlamydia really affected his face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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