dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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