he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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