the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
