"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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