Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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