Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
