just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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