Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
