why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
