Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
