Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
