can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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