he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
