I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
