went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
