some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
