At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
