its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
