guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
