i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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