you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
