I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
