would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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