we're blogging at a bar
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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