you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
