He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How naked do you want me to be?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
