I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
