I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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