Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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