problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
