what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
