4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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