P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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