Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
