theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
