I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
4 words: hood of his car
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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