Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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