We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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