You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
