I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
