He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
