just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
