That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
