I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
