Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
